His Rotting Fairytale
by Holly Jolly Rape
Summary: Kakuzu and Hidan are in the Capital Wasteland. They found themselves a fortress, tore all its upholders there apart, and spent the night, supposedly leaving the next morning. Rated for KakuHida Fluff Swearing Kinda/sorta gore?


**His Rotting Fairytale**

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**A/N: **Short story about Fallout 3 world. Hope you like it. 3

**Warning(s): **KakuHida fluff (kinda, not really xD)

Oh, btw, swearing, violence, and a little bit of innuendos going on in there as well.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own these characters; sorry.

Oh, and whatever happened in Fallout 3 world is © to Fallout 3 people (Bethseda). =]

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Enjoy. [/bows]

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"Kakuzu! Holy shit, is it really already 7:30?"

"Yes, Hidan."

"Jashin in heaven! Why didn't you wake me up?!"

"I was waiting for the 'roaches(1) to come out of their dark eat your dead corpse."

"... But I wasn't dead."

"That's the point."

"... HEY!" the half-Ghoul(2) climbed out of the small, human-sized, igloo-shaped cave that he had raided only the night before.

"Oh, so you finally get it," the other murmured, rolling his eyes as he roasted his dog meat over the fire he had created around an hour ago.

Hidan rolled his eyes; "You _could've _woken me up. It's already 7:30! We were supposed to be on the road by noon!"

"I _could've._ But since I _didn't_, now I don't _have to._" Kakuzu glanced back over his shoulder. "_Get it?_ Haha, it's a joke!" he flashed a sarcastic and very obviously forced smile, then turned back to the flames with a disgusted sigh. "And I've decided that we're going to stay here until some of our fellow kind find us. I told them that we'd meet them at a few checkpoints along the way... Oh, and since we went to _all_ the trouble of fighting _all _of those Supermutants(3) with a sawed-off shotgun and a rifle," Kakuzu looked back once again, "I decided that I'd let you sleep and we could stay a little longer."

Hidan scowled. "Fine."

"What, _'Fine'?_ I was being nice, for once."

"_Nothing._ It's not like what I'm gon'na fucking say is going to make much of a difference to what you're thinking." He crawled back into the pit, and curled into a ball, covering himself with his ratted blanket he had stolen from an old convenience center.

"No, tell me before I throw the fire into there."

Hidan sighed, reaching up and rubbing his radiated face, peeling back some of the skin from his wounds; "It's nothing, really."

"Did your nose come off again?"

"_NO, IT DID NOT. _I said not to mention that! _Ever_ fucking_ again._" Hidan adjusted his face a little, moving around his jaw and chomping down on the air. "It's _nothing._"

"Fine. But if your nose does come off, I'm not sewing it back on. I almost threw up after that last time."

"That was only because you were sick!" Hidan crawled out partially, shaking his fist. "My nose won't budge anymore after you melted the skins together!"

"Your skin was pliable enough to do it without harming you. I just never thought it would be that _easy _to rip off more of your face."

"IT HURT LIKE A MOTHER FUCKER!"

"Of course it did! I ripped off your _cheek!_" Kakuzu turned around, the dusty dirt underneath him stirring up into the air. "I'm not _stupid_, Hidan. I knew it hurt, so I sewed it back into place." He reached over and ran his thumb over his workmanship. "It turned out fine, didn't it?"

"So far, no one has liked the look of my face, other than you and your creepy fetishes for human flesh and/or Ghouls." Hidan pulled back from Kakuzu's hand, and reached up to rub the stitching that would never heal. The flesh was starting to contort to stretch his face to the stitching that was pulling the pieces together. He was rotting away, was what he was doing.

He scowled, and then ran back into his hole, pulling the blanket over his head as he stared at the walls of his cave; a mirror was stuck next to a magazine in the wall, both glued on. This whole Supermutant fort was glued together – literally. It amazed him at how almost everything was paper machéd(4) together. Macrame to the extreme.

"I do not have a _creepy fetish_ for human flesh _or_ Ghouls. You were just so pitiful that I had to pick you up out of that radiated creek." Kakuzu glared at the half-Ghoul's covered back. "And why do you keep that ratted up, old rag with you all the time? It's not like it has any significant meaning to you. You _stole it_."

"Fuck you." Hidan growled. "_Maybe,_ it just _does_ have some significant meaning to me. How about _that_ one?!" Hidan scooted closer to his igloo wall, hiding from the flickering light that was coming in from the entrance. "Shove _that_ up your ass 'nd like it!"

Kakuzu sighed. "Now you're just being childish. Come out and have some dinner, won't you?"

"No. I don't like dog, remember?"

"You're going to eat."

"Dog meat has rads."

"So does every other meat out here in the Capital Wasteland(5)."

"There's none in purified water. I can live off water for weeks!"

"Two weeks, to be exact. And I _do_ have another Rad-Away(6) if you need it."

Hidan huffed. "Maybe I don't want to have Rad-Away."

Kakuzu crossed his arms over his chest. "Come out here, immediately."

"I said _no,_" Hidan said, "I don't want to eat because I'm not hungry and you're bringing up shitty, rads-infected food, and I don't want Rad-Away because I just don't!"

"I said come out here, not eat the food that I want to eat and take away my Rad-Away that I want to use after that."

Hidan poked his head into the light, seeing Kakuzu looking straight at him. His violet eyes squinted, looking almost violated, and Hidan retreated back into the dark.

"Don't make me come in there."

Hidan flicked him off.

"Hidan."

"FINE! I'll come out, you stupid bitch!" Hidan growled irritably. He crawled out with his blanket still over his head, covering his messed up, dirty hair and his shoulders, draping over the rest of him. He sat down next to the fire, and glared into the dog meat, the embers being too bright for his eyes to take at the moment.

Kakuzu smirked, victory-struck. He turned his dog meat over, making sure it cooked all the way through before he pulled up his mask from his neck and stood up. "I need to take a leak. Watch the food for me."

Hidan looked up at him, disapproval in his eyes and mouth agape. "Was that the _only_ fucking reason that you brought me out here!? To watch your food as you _pissed?!_"

"No. I also wanted to see you freak out when I told you I was going to take a piss."

"You son of a Brahmin(7)!" Hidan hissed viciously.

"Your nose fell off."

"JASHIN FUCKING DAMNIT!..." Hidan reached up to his face, holding his hands over his nose, only to find it still fully-attached to his face; "You LIAR! _I HATE YOU!_"

Kakuzu just laughed aloud as he walked down the ramp.

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**A/N: **LOLOLOL. I LOVE THIS GAME.

Note:

_**BLOW UP MEGATON.**_

BEST.

EXPLOSION.

_EVER._

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_'roaches_ - Or more commonly known as Radroaches. They're radiated Cockroaches, grown to be about 3 feet long and have much more meat and bite to them. +2 rads! :D

_Ghoul – _People who were not protected by the Vaults (see 8) during the nuclear explosions. They weren't killed, but they were so radiated, they can't become any more radiated, and so they have extended lives. Hidan, in this case, is half-Ghoul, which makes him half human and half Ghoul. He has a higher resistance to radiation, but also gained the looks of the Ghoul portion of his genetics (fine as a kid and keeps getting worse with more radiation he gets.)

_Supermutant_ – They were once people, before the bombs went off, but they were changed into giant creatures (like the Hulk!) with odd skin tones and a blood lust. There are a few of these Supermutants who have been cast out because they didn't want to fight, (ie.: UNCLE SAM, I love him, such a nice guy 3). A bitch to kill with a rifle and a sawed-off shotgun, usually live in packs.

_paper mach__é - _ WHO KNOWS HOW TO SPELL THIS?! And papermaché is when you dip paper in a mix of glue and water and stick it to something to build a wall/cast of something. Ususally, you do this to your arm/face with some Vaseline on that part of your body to make a cast of your arm/face.

_Capital Wasteland –_ the DC area, where the bombs went off as well. There are a few other places (soon to be _Fallout: New Vegas_, placed in Las Vegas!) but you're playing in the DC area through-out the whole game, and since it's the Capital, it's the Capital _Wasteland!_ :D Geddit? [/getsshot]

_Rad-Away – _Gets rid of some of your Radiation (Rads) for you.

_Brahmin_ – Radiated cow. Guess what? IT HAS TWO HEADS. D Makes an awesome steak. =]

_Vault - _ A place where people filed into before the bombs went off, and people came out of after the bombs. Funny commercials if you get the game. :D


End file.
